Do You Cry Every Day?

The following pages are for you, to soothe you as you travel through the bereavement process.  Dr. Roberta Temes has prepared this information to guide you, to comfort you, and to inform you.

Most mourners do cry. Weeping has benefits. It releases your emotions. It relieves your body of the chemicals in tears which can cause excess stress. It alerts others to your fragile state. It lets you know that you had a deep relationship with the deceased. So, instead of holding back your tears please give yourself permission to cry.

Decide where you are most comfortable crying – is it when you are in your car by yourself? Is it in your bed? Is it in the shower? Designate a time to weep, too. Weep in the morning or after work or on weekends or at religious services. Let your mind look forward to specific times and places when it can let go and cry. That way you won’t have pent-up tears threatening to overwhelm  you at inappropriate times.

Do you know about tear catchers? They are beautiful works of art, made of glass, and specifically meant to hold your tears. In ancient days widows proved their love by filling tear catchers and then burying them with their husband’s coffin. In more recent days women accumulated tear catchers on their mantelpiece while husbands were away at war. Upon the husband’s return the tears were proof of his wife’s despair during this absence.

Today tear catchers may be a gift for the bereaved and a welcome addition to a beautiful home. Whether or not they are actually filled with tears (some prefer filling them water or not filling them at all) is irrelevant. Their importance is signified by their prominent place in a mourner’s home. Some mourners collect tear catchers as a tribute to their deceased loved one.
You can create your own tear catcher or you may purchase a ready-made tear catcher.